You mess with the bull, you get the horns!

Many months ago, I posted a blog about becoming an elite member of the "Let's eat raw bull testicles" club. In one day I joined the club but unfortunately I have willingly withdrew my membership to said club. It just involved too much slime (that's what I'm calling it) for me to stomach. During that nut cut/hide burning is when I must have messed with the wrong bull. Word traveled fast that some blonde gal was out to participate in another hide burning and banding of the bull parts. Two weeks ago was my first branding at C. Ladd Holmquist's farm. Mind you, I love the calves at this farm and I named them and tried to save their mothers from being sold. My opinion has changed...5 of us gathered for the operation with one man running the head catch, another running calves into the chute, Shayne branding, the new guy giving shots, and ME the only girl. At first I gave shots too but then when the calves were being unruly, the nice man struggling to run the head catch would go "assist" in pushing the calf up the alley and forget about his responsibility. This is when Wonder Woman (that's how I felt that day) stepped in and ran the head catch. Let me boast: I was dang good at it! In one swoop, I got the head, squeezed the body and flipped that table. Mind you these weren't the small cuties anymore, my babies are growing so quickly. Wonder Woman continued mixing medicine, putting the band on the de-nutter/band-thingy, refilling syringes, running the head catch when someone was distracted. Needless to say even with Wonder Woman present, the fist half of the day did not go smoothly. I was introduced to a new side of Shayne. He just didn't even care, he hates every aspect of cows and obviously with branding being apart of bovine management, he does not share the excitement that I have.

I had fried chicken and cookies for lunch. (The no sugar thing lasted until Saturday)

After we ate, we had to gather the second bunch. I was determined to make the afternoon run smoother than the morning. When running the cows and calves into a smaller corral to sort, I step on what I thought was dried poo. WRONG! Fell in past my boot only to struggle to get my foot free before getting run over. Don't worry, Juan just stood there and laughed. Sweet, thanks Juan. After we got them all in the corral, it was time to sort the cows from the calves. I was manning the gate making sure only cows got through. Don't worry, Thor was in there as well.
He's the BMOC (big man on campus) but don't be intimidated because he loves to have his head scratched and eating corn cobs. Usually he's in his own corral but it was business time, so he was in with the ladies. (If you know what I mean. Wink, wink) Things were going okay, I showed off my skills of not being intimidated by the raging cows bucking at me or the 3,000 pound bull strutting around like he owned the place. We had one more corral to push the calves into and by the end, we had about 3 cows that got put in with the babies. One of these lucky mothers was my main gal-pal Nadeen. She's always been so sweet until we tried to take Khloe away from her. This is when the mama bear took over to protect her cub! After waving my magic red cape, Nadeen ran out to leave her precious baby. During the mumbo-jumbo two calves escaped back in with the cows. OOPS! Well, this oops was just enough to send Shayne into blackout rage. He took his fiber glass sorting stick and smashed it into a fence post. Well my friends, karma is a *BEEP* thus the broken stick came back to create a nice cut right above his eye. Yep...this was the icing on the cake. The kid was pouring blood and I kindly but firmly reminded him he needs to calm down. There's nothing we could do about the situation. Fast forward 10 minutes and 2 cigarettes later (Shayne smokes not me.) We were back in the barn ready to get the second bunch done. Back to my determination to run the calves though in a more timely manner, I asked Juan if he needed a break. That's my way of helping the man keep his ego while I burst it 3 seconds later by swiftly guiding a calf though the alley and into the chute. I took the mission upon myself to push the calves through the rest of the afternoon. I received many praises from the guys about how well I handled the calves and managed to keep up with the branding. I only got kicked once and then I exchanged some words with that calf and it apologized. One thing that always makes Ladd and Shayne mad, is when Juan will just let the calves run by him. Well sucker step aside and let Wonder Woman show you how you DO NOT let the calf run by you. So with my brute strength I grabbed those suckers necks and reminded them who was in charge. It worked. Just saying. Okay, okay, I'm moving on. We had about 12 calves left when I realized my knees were starting to hurt. I had no idea why because I know the secret to not getting kick. Stay right behind that beauty as you run/push it up the alley. What I failed to realize is the calves hocks were hitting my knees. (For those of you who don't know, I bruise like a peach) Once we finished I came to realize the abuse I had taken all afternoon.(These are my $60 pants I donated because every other poop pants I own are too big) Now please see picture of my arms and legs but at the same time, please do not judge the size of my thighs...I became well aware that I need to increase the amount of squats I do.
Let me wrap up this EXTREMELY long post. When I ate those Rocky Mountain Oysters (in a half shell) last fall, I messed with the bull. When I opted to bring out Wonder Woman two weeks ago. I got the horns. Moral of the story? There is none. I had a great time and I can't wait until the next branding. Until then, I'm going to start eating more spinach for the iron. I need to rid myself of these bruises.
Have a great day!