Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Going bald for barley

Have you ever had to take a drug test? Most of the time when you work for a very important company, you are required to take a drug test prior to being hired. In some cases they preform random drug tests after you are hired as well. I agree that these test should happen because I'd rather not have a meth-head in charge of my IRS forms.

I started working for a very important company again a few weeks ago. Because I've worked for AB before, I knew that a drug test was part of the hiring process. No big deal, I'm clean. No drug use for this gal! When I took my form to the testing facility I should have noticed the first warning sign right away...I was at a chiropractor's office. Hummm...adjustment? Yes! Cup to pee in? Sure! So I sat and waited for my turn. While observing the office atmosphere, I realized that my chair that was a tan color, was not manufactured tan. It was supposed to be white! YUCK!

My turn! Warning sign 2: the gal in charge of my drug test was the assistant to the chiropractor.

Into the little room we went. A little small talk about the job and then she brought out the scissors. I knew I was having a hair sample taken because that's what happened the first time. However, I was unprepared for what was going to happen.

"I hope I'm not hurting you." as she grabs some hair and starts to twist it.
"Not at all. You're fine."
"I just need to get this as tight as I can so I can cut close to the follicle."
"Ok"
"You ready?"
SNIP! SNIP! snip...snip...snip...snip...snip...snip!
Don't you think that's a lot of snips just for a small hair sample? That's what I thought. Then I saw it. The GIANT CHUNK of hair she cut off my head. I said with shock, that's a lot of hair you just cut off. She chuckled and said, I now had a bald spot. Fan-freakin-tastic!

I was and still am traumatized by this situation. It's not a small area and doesn't she know that my hair will grow back sticking straight out? Now I'm going to be a rooster for a few years until I can get this spot to grow long enough. For now, I'm lucky that my hair covers the area.



I'll let you know when I start getting my rooster tuft sticking out. I would have gladly peed in a cup, had blood drawn or any other process of drug testing. But because of the very important company's rules and regulations, I am now missing a chunk of hair.

Bummer man!



Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Dear....

I might be a blogger idea stealer right now but this was a great idea. Today I need to write a few letters in regards to situations I've been put in lately.

Dear 4:15am alarm,
Gosh you sure do come quick. Most of the time I'm not happy when the time comes for you to YELL at me to wake up. Who goes to the gym that early? It's not safe to sleep walk and work out. I don't appreciate how I get a burst of energy around 10pm causing me to fall asleep about 11:30. Now I'm forced to have a debate when my alarm goes off, is it really worth it? In the future, can you please try to make it a little more pleasant to wake up before the sun?

Until next time,
your snooze button lover

Dear TCFS Sheriff,
Just because I show up to a SAR meeting in shorts and flip flops, sporting my blonde hair doesn't mean I'm stupid. I know how to start a 4-wheeler! Hello...I am dating someone who works on a farm and races quads. I have my own bitchin' equipment and I don't want to borrow your boring-ass helmet. I look forward to the day you praise my ability to fit in with all your powerhouse back country sheriffs. Until then, just remember never underestimate the power of a blonde.

See you soon baldie,
your new blonde-headed badass SAR friend

Dear Clark,
You've been such a great car and I love you so much. As you begin to age more, please remember that I need you to stay as healthy as possible. With this being said, quit trying to lock yourself throughout the night. You're wasting your energy. Once I click the lock button you can feel safe because no one will break in. Stay strong my extended cab Honda. I believe in you and your ability to reach 350,000 miles.

Love,
me

Dear Dee,
Just because my alarm goes off doesn't mean I want to wake up RIGHT NOW to feed you. You're not starving and I do not neglect you. Suck it up little girl! Don't forget we saved you from that evil man at the farm. You're one lucky kitten, don't make me send you to Grandpa Mikes.

Love,
Mom

Dear EICU,
I'm very impatient right now. I have wanted to be engaged for a long time now but have been distracted by your promise for a home loan. Please put aside all the other applicants and process Shayne's. I want to move into the new house and finally live in a home I can paint the walls! Hurry up!

From,
The disgruntled girlfriend of the loan applicant

Dear Lane Frost/Shaynie,
Thanks for always keeping me in line. I'm sorry that I love new furniture and all the jazzy things that can spice up the new house. I know that we don't need to have all new things when we first move in but I can't stop looking. You're an amazing BF and without you I'd be sad and stuck in a white wall apartment forever.

Love you!

Dear Readers,
You all totally rock! Thanks for reading my random and not-so-exciting blog. Sorry that I'm not a faithful poster but I'm really trying to improve my story-telling. I guess my life is more exciting that I realize.

Always yours,
me

I could probably write 24 letters but really it would get boring. I'm sure I'll have to do another blog like this in the future. After all, it's nice to get these things off my chest.

Have a great Tuesday!!


Friday, August 26, 2011

Let's talk barley

Happy Friday Friends!

When I moved to Idaho is the summer of 2007, I was given an internship at Anheuser-Busch to work harvest. Who knew that the internship would last for 2 years. During this time, I learned so much about barley and its role in producing beer for our horses. Haha! You know what I mean, just beer. I worked between the elevator which stores the grain and sends it to the malt house and I also worked at the seed plant. They clean the seed and treat it so it's fully prepared for planting in the spring. Just so you know, seed barley looks like regular barley. I spend the majority of my time at the elevator where I did everything. I loaded the trains, dumped trucks, entered data, checked fields, and graded barley. You see, it is BEYOND important that the barley is graded upon arrival to the elevator. If the grain does not fall into specifications it compromises the quality of the malt and the quality of your beer. When AB got bought out by Inbev, a German company and obviously they didn't care that I rocked the house with grading. Then layoffs started to take place, I knew I'd be the first to go. I was not considered a full-time employee so why keep me around. In January of 2009 they said auf wiedersehen and out the door I went.

Now that it's harvest time here in South East Idaho. This year, I'm back at Busch grading barley and helping with various tasks. I have been working a few hours a night then all day on Saturdays.

Because it's Friday and some people like to enjoy a nice cold one after work, I decided to go over how you grade barley. So, please join me as I cover a small step in producing beer.
-Farmers responsibilities-
1. Plant the grain
2. Water the grain
3. Watch the grain grow
4. Freak out when the wind blows, it rains or hails
5. Shut off the water
6. Watch the grain finish turning
7. Dust off the combine
8. Start thrashing
9. Take a truck full of barley to the elevator or personal storage bin

-AB responsibilities-
1. Probe truck

2. Listen to it get sucked up and put in this contraption

3. Take grain out of small hopper

4. Put a sample in the whole grader

This checks the protein and moisture. This is a VERY IMPORTANT STEP! With high protein and moisture, the barley is compromised for malting. The picture below has perfect protein and moisture.

5. Gather the test weight of the barley The test weight is how many pounds per bushel the grain is.

6. Take 250 grams and place it in the sifter This helps determine how plump and thin the barley is. Obviously the more plump the barley, the better chance of malting.

7. Determine skinned and broken barley When barley is skinned or broken, it will not be able to germinate. No germination=no malt. This step also helps identify any diseases.


When the barley comes straight from the field a lot of issues are eliminated however when farmers store their barley various problems could arise. They can get bugs and that is BAD BAD BAD! If it is a grain weevil it will cause SIGNIFICANT damage and will not be allowed at the elevator. To eliminate this, one must fumigate. If the grain is stored when it has high moisture, it will succumb to heat damage. If the grain gets wet or is wet when stored, it can sprout. Both heat and sprout will cause the grain not to germinate. The way to establish that the barley has heat, sprout or bugs is to pearl it. I don't have a picture because it is rare to pearl during harvest.

Now, the next time you take a sip from a AB product think "Celeste could have had a hand in making this yumm-o drink!" Just give it a few months first.

You're welcome!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

My emotions have got the best of me

Previously I've written about my feelings towards animals. The dang calves that are so stinkin' cute. Kittens...ponies...you name it I usually adore them. (Please subtract any loving feelings for bears and spiders. Thank you.) This spring when the calves were born, I took in much love for a few that had some issues upon birth. Unfortunately, some of them have died. Two of my favorite are still kicking and were given the chance to stay at the farm all summer. If you ask me, that's like staying at a fine hotel. Helen and Rumpelstiltskin are living it up by the river munching on grass while watching the corn grow. Well, let me rephrase that, Rumpelstiltskin can see the corn but Helen can't. Poor Helen is blind. Her mother, Maryland, wears a cow bell so Helen always knows where she is at. Shayne tells me that Helen keeps getting out of the fence and freaks out because she can't find her mother. My heart breaks for Helen. Rumpelstiltskin is a 3-legged calf. She lost her leg due to foot rot. There is nothing else wrong with her and she gets along well. I'm hoping that her and Helen have developed a strong bond. Now, why are my emotions getting the best of me? Honestly, I love Helen. I want her to be my pet. I want to make her tame so we can pet her and she feels safe. It's getting close to the time where the calves need to be weaned. What is Helen going to do? She needs her mother, she needs to feel safe. I told Shayne's boss that if he ever plans on getting rid of her, I will buy her. Oh, Helen!
Next random emotion: I was grading some barley last night (another blog) and there was a lady bug in the sifter. I scooped it out and put it on the counter. Well Mr. Ladybug was injured, injured bad. I couldn't help but think this little bug didn't get to live to it's full potential. Okay, so now I'm going crazy.
What about the kitty kitty I feed when I house-sit? It's a barn kitty that only wants some petting. You can't pick kitty kitty up, just pet. The other day, I cut out three giant clumps of matted hair. Kitty kitty looks a lot happier. I just want to take her home but Charlie and Dee probably won't welcome her with open paws. More like open claws of death.
My hormones are off the charts. I'm not nesting, I'm not planning on having children any time soon. So what the heck? Compassion for a lady bug? I tell you what, these feelings better start to calm down. I can't save every creature that "needs to fulfill their dreams." I guess it's the circle of life. Again, I want you all to be aware if Helen dies, I will need a day of mourning.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Promise, promise!

I know, I know, you're sick of me promising that I'm going to blog about this or that because OBVIOUSLY I don't follow through. Well, I'm not going to promise you this but here are two ideas that need some mind tossing before putting them down for you all to read.

~Why did a chiropractic assist make me bald?
~Harvest, old men, and bicycling

Here, I'm holding my right hand up, Girl Scout promise, I will get two blogs done before Sunday. If not...well I don't know what I'll do.

Peace out cub scouts!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Table Rock 2011

Hey Friends!

Remember me? I'm still alive! What an adventure I've been on this past Sunday. Do you remember last year when I posted about my hike up Table Rock? Well if not, go ahead and take a look. That way you get a great description of this hike. I was so excited when my friend Karen asked me if I was interested in climbing it again this year. Heck yes I was! Due to the fact it took us 10 hours last year and we didn't get back into IF until 11pm, we determined that leaving IF at 6am would be best. It was Sunday and I had to be at work the next day. Karen recruited Jenni who hiked with us last year along with another friend. I asked a couple of my friends but only Sarah was able to come. It was so much fun! I was nervous at first because my "mild" fear of bears. I brought a TINY can of pepper spray and my gun. Trust me, if there was a wild encounter with a bear, the spray and gun wouldn't do much for protection. Some of the adventures were:
* Walking through wild flowers and weeds taller than me.
* Crossing a FREEZING cold river three times. It was so cold it made your feet hurt.
* Hiking through snow.
* Carrying two backpacks so Sarah could make it to the top.
* Seeing one of Sarah's "friends" at the top of the mountain. Out of all the places in the world to run into an old man friend...
* Dealing with the threat of a huge storm once reaching the summit.
* Peeing in the woods then turning around to see hikers behind my restroom. Ooops!
* Being so exhausted at the end that I was loopy and felt drunk. (I did have two celebratory beers)
Overall, we had a good time. I'm thankful that there were no injuries. I am sad that Karen had to experience the cold water much more traumatically than the rest of us. She's a trouper! I look forward to this hike next year. I will leave you with a slide show of the day.



















Friday, August 5, 2011