They giveth and then they taketh

What the heck is up with this post? Giveth, taketh? Is this about Jesus? No my friends, this is not about Jesus but it is about someone who pretends to be "Ruler of All." Drum roll please.....It's the IRS! Yep, it's tax time and every year we scramble to get our tax returns in as quickly as possible hoping to use our money wisely when we get it back but mostly end up spending it on "important" things such as new pants. Believe it or not, every year I complain about the small amount of money I get in return for forking out thousands of dollars throughout the year. When filing my taxes this year, I would go through and answer the questions (because I love Turbo Tax,) and it seems that by not being married, having children or being Native American I'm getting the short end of the stick. Also, it caps your student loan write off at $2,500 and for some reason, I paid more than that. This student loan thing is kicking my butt! Anyways, I had to swallow my pride when I realized I should be grateful I actually get something back. It seems that more and more people are having to pay taxes each year. I have my personal reasons why but I don't want to hurt any feelings. With this all said, I am thankful for my return and look forward to putting it towards my credit card debt! YAHOO for being a grown up.

Here's my BEEF

Let me be honest with you, I've never had a steak in my life. Are you in shock? Most people are and from what I've heard, "I'm really missing out." There is nothing desirable about a slab o' beef. The way I see it, I'm not hurting anyone or claiming it's cruel to the cow. It's just mine own little phobia with the red meat. I never really ate large chucks of meat as a child, I guess we had roast and stew sometimes, but only steak on birthdays. I was the lone wolf enjoying a moist chicken breast. I have my days that I can muster the strength to eat some ground beef but I find it very difficult to cook with it. An added benefit to having a farm boy in my life, we get free ground beef. Fresh and I know what this cow has eaten so no hormones or other wishy washy nasties injected to "enhance" the flavor. (Gag) However there is a downfall to this beef, it is EXTREMELY rich and bloody. I have not cooked with beef in a very long time due to 1. not liking it and 2. ground turkey is healthier. As requested by Shayne, he wanted some medley for dinner the other night and I decided to make if for him. After all, he's been subjected to random foods such as couscous and whole wheat tortillas. This man is a typical white bread, meat and potatoes kind of guy so I give him credit for hanging in there with my new cooking style. I should have known it was going to be a bad night with the beef when I was putting it in the pan and there was a lot of blood coming out. VOMIT! Again, I gagged because...well....YUCK! I cooked it anyways and then noticed there was a large amount of beef in this pan. Ooops, I should have only used half of it. After finishing the medley I decided to dish myself up a bowl. Again, I should have had left overs because even the smell was making me sick. Oh well, down the hatch it went. Man oh man my friends, that beef and my stomach did not form a relationship. If I could compare it to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, my stomach is Kyle and the beef is Camille. As fake as Camille is, Kyle was honest and called her out thus causing a ruckus in my mid section. I thought if I worked out things would work themselves out. HA! That was a joke! I went home and ate some tums hoping to calm the situation, then hit the sack. It's been two days and I tell you what, this fight is still dwindling. For crying out loud beef, can't you just leave me alone? Needless to say, I will not be eating beef for a very long time. Shayne is just going to have to learn to love the turkey!

P.S. I asked Shayne to take the remaining pound o' medley to work yesterday and when I came home last night, the empty container was in the sink. Pardon my pun here but HOLY COW! This boy truly was deprived of his beef.

Compromising positions

In the TV series Friends, Phoebe tries to seduce Chandler by telling him saying "I've very bendy!" It always makes me laugh but I am well aware that not all of us are "bendy." When I first started working out, I did a sit and reach test where I honestly sat down and leaned forward. The trainer said "now reach." I was reaching! He blamed it on my mid-section. Well, I've lost a lot of that mid-section but for some reason I still can't touch my toes. I've tried yoga and that was a HUGE mistake. I think I should have brought a hidden camera because this girl and those positions did not mesh. I was good at three poses: child's pose, corps, and downward facing dog. Anything else that required balancing on one leg while trying to lick you elbow, you can forget about it! There were multiple times during this "meditation period" that I almost burst out laughing. The worst part? We were in the front row, no laughing allowed. That was the last time I attended a yoga class. However, it was not the last time my body was put in these unflattering positions. Yesterday was one of those defining moments where we were asked to do the inch worm across the floor. This exercise seems to enhance every piece of extra skin or ounce/pound of fat you have on your body. I am now aware that my knees could use some toning or maybe a knee tuck, my mid section is still restricting my ability to inch my legs closer. Big people should not be doing this move. It's embarrassing to try and who knows what I look like but I'm 100% positive I'd laugh at me. Oh wait, I do laugh at myself. I'm thinking that as the pounds continue to come off, maybe I will be able to be more flexible and look a little more graceful during my workouts. For now, I guess I'll continue to be the fish out of water, flopping around looking to find my way back home.

Trippin'

I am willing to admit that I have my blonde moments. I don't understand what is going on and have a very confused look on my face. During these times, I have to be told the same thing over and over until the light finally goes off in my head. Ding, ding, ding! I had one of those empty headed times arise the other day. To my defense, I wasn't the only one confused. My friends and I decided to take a nice Sunday afternoon and hit the theater. There are so many good reviews that we chose to see The Black Swan hoping that it would live up to our expectations. Now, I won't give away the movie but with the first scene I was already confused. For one, the cinematography was off. It felt like you were walking with the character causing a slight amount of motion sickness to come over me. At various points during the movies, I was dumbfounded and just looked over at my friend and say how weird this movie is. Have you seen Fight Club? Well, to this day, I don't understand that movie. The Black Swan has moved into the same category as Fight Club. I'm just so confused! When the movie ended we all looked at each other like "what the?" then started laughing. It seems like everyone else in the theater understood the Golden Globe nominated film except us. When I was driving home I was trying to describe the movie to my mom and kept saying how I felt as if I was drugged. I shouldn't have been driving because I was so wigged out. I am still trying to process the film but I just can't understand it. Has anyone else seen it? My suggestion, wait until it's out on DVD because it wasn't worth the $7.00 I paid.

Moments

Things happen in your life that will spike your heart rate just enough to make your head spin and hands shake. It is how we react to these moments that allows us to gain the upper hand in how we will make the best of the situation.

I don't know how to explain the feeling I got during this situation. I am still wondering if I was dreaming or this really happened. I was just did what I could to help and thankfully had others around. Last Thursday night, for the first time in my life, I saw a man practically die! I was with my friend at the gym enjoying a nice gallivant on the treadmill while watching Grey's Anatomy. All of a sudden, my friend said, I think someone just fell off a machine. Here's my first thought: I would never want to fall off a exercise machine without having someone there to help me up. Lord knows it would be embarrassing to anyone. So, I jumped off my treadmill and ran over. Only to find a man bleeding from his head, looking as if he was having a seizure. I grabbed his head, stabilized his neck and started tell "J" to stay with us and keep his eyes open. Shortly after, "J's" eyes started closing, I checked for a pulse on his arm and neck and realized there was none. I told some people to pull him back because his head almost off the ledge. They pulled him back and I started compressions. That's right, I had to preform CPR on this man. Thankfully, about twenty compressions in, another woman ran over who was a nurse and asked if she could take over. I let her do that and continued to help in any way possible. It was so surreal! They used the AED on him multiple times and continued compressions until EMS arrived.During this time his face turned gray and his body went limp. I had so many emotions fill my body that I was numb from everything that was going on around me. Thankfully, they were able to get a pulse back and transport him to the hospital. I didn't know if he survived until the next day when I went back to the gym and found out he had a massive heart attack but at midnight he was in stable condition. Basically this moment has changed my life. I view death differently, I added value to life, I love more and want less. From this point forward, I know that people are put into your life for a reason. These people save your life every day, even if you don't recognize it. So for all of you, thank you for saving my life.

Irritation

Lately I have had some mood issues. I think it's because of the gloomy weather and the lack of warm sun that I am getting on my face. I have become grumpy over the strangest things that wouldn't bother other people. Here are the current thorns in my side:
Snow plows: Yes, they provide a good service for clearing the snow drifts. I just hate the fact that I will spend time to clear off the driveway at work and then I'll come inside sit down, thaw out and watch those gosh darn trucks drive by not once but twice pushing snow back into the driveway. Giving them the stink eye has not helped.
Hunger: Have you heard of the term "hollow leg?" My dad used to say to us "you got a hollow leg or something" when we would eat a lot at dinner. Lately I've had a major hollow leg. I'm really trying to eat healthy but my brain thinks life is over unless I have some sugar. For example, yesterday, I ate good until I wanted bread pudding. I couldn't just sit there dreaming about bread pudding. I got up, drove to the store, got some bread pudding and ice cream, came home ate it and was satisfied. That bread pudding had 300 calories in it! That's some intense working out that will need to happen in order to keep that from going to my hips. Now I want cupcakes. Mom, I'm not pregnant so breathe!
Farming: I know, no farms no food. Lord knows I need food but sometimes I need my boyfriend more. He is working midnight until noon or later, comes home sleeps until 11:30ish then goes to work. Leaving me to seeing him awake every now and then. It is difficult to see him but not get to talk or hang out. The worst part? It's only been one week and not even 1/2 of the calves have been born.
Living in an apartment: I'm so tired of my neighbors playing their music loudly. I don't even know who lives there, people are always coming and going. Shayne, Sarah and I can't decided if they are selling drugs or running a prostitution ring. Poor Sarah shares a wall with them and has been an ear-witness to some domestic disturbances. I am ready to have house!
Energy, or lack there of: Working out is supposed to boost your energy making you feel better throughout the day. Not in my case, I've been so sleepy and I feel bad because Shayne is working his tail off and not getting enough sleep and I do nothing and can't seem to ever wake up.
Treadmills: I hate running on a treadmill. Why is it so simple to hit the stop button and walk away? Example, last Tuesday I ran a mile in 7:30 (AMAZING TIME) then hit stop and walked away. Basically I gave up! It's just soooo boring....

I'm trying to develop a plan to help my moods become more positive. I will continue my exercise to increase the endorphins in my brain. I might bust out the added perk of tanning with my gym membership. (Mom, I promise I won't get melanoma! If I do, I hope you'll still love me!) I think it's all mind over matter. I just need to build a bridge and GET OVER IT!

On a lighter note, I'm attempting to start my half marathon training again. My friend D is doing it to and I think she has a lot more motivation than I do and she's rocking the house!

Wish me luck!

Names

I pride myself on something that comes in handy quite often…providing names for animals, vehicles, guns and other random items that may or may not require a name to function. Not really to function but it’s more fun to refer to them by their name. For example Clark is my car who is named after Clark Kent. It fits him to a T because he really is my superman. I've had him for four years and he's 250,000 miles years old and still rockin'!Clark also has the ability to transfer into stealth mode whenever I feel ashamed that he is a wagon. When I first met Shayne, Transformers had just come out and because he drives a GIANT pick-up truck, it was only appropriate to name it Optimus Prime. We call it Opto for short and it works out perfectly because that pick-up transforms when you least expect it. I think it’s great when people have animals that are given human names. I now want a dog named Kevin because of the movie “The Proposal.” Hysterical! Both my cats are named after characters from the TV show “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.” Now that it’s my third favorite season of the year, I get to really use my naming skills. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s CALVING SEASON! Now, there are some downfalls to this time of year and that is why it’s my third favorite season. Already this year, I haven’t been able to keep up with my naming because those cows are popping out babies left and right. I was all caught up until yesterday when there were 7 calves born! I need to make sure I see them and their mother before I assign them names. I also have to write them down because heaven forbid I forget their precious names. So far this year, I have given out the following names:
Omega (because it was the last baby of 2010)
Alpha (first baby of 2011)
Frosty (we found him about an hour after he was born and he was all frosty, poor bull lost his ears)
Dale Jr. Jr. (the mother’s number is 88)
Snow White or Casper (I haven’t heard the final verdict on the sex of the calf)
Picky Peter or Picky Paula (Same issue with the sex of the calf but it had to be brought back into the barn because it wouldn’t nurse outside)
I can’t promise you I’ll come up with names for all 270ish calves that are expected to be born but the names will continue to come as I see these cute little baby cows.
If you’re ever in need of a name for anything, please look me up!

Willingly dying every Monday and Wednesday

If you have been following my blog for a while, you'll remember that I've been working on becoming physically fit. Boy, has this been a journey! I'm still not at my personal goal but I know I've improved greatly on what I can do at the gym. In January of last year, my friend and I signed up for Boot Camp for the first time. I remember thinking I have never sweated this much in my life and I might die. After seeing results in one month I decided to stick with this class. In the past year, I have not been able to attend three months and during those months, I lost motivation to "hit the gym." I have developed some great relationships with the people I workout with and I really appreciate how much they encourage each person to push harder. Here's how it goes; at the start of each month we take a test that includes various exercises and then take the same test at the end of the month. This allows us to see the progress we've made in three weeks time. I admit, it's nice to see that you can improve in only three weeks but those three weeks seem to come very quickly. During the other classes every workout is different. The changes in the exercises really helps you not get bored (if that's possible at a gym.) Sometimes it's a mind game because I feel like it's my first time working out. My body will shut down and resist every burpie, pushup, or stair lap that I attempt. Yesterday was the first Boot Camp of the 2011! You would think now that I'm in better shape, this would be getting easier. NOPE! I still have numerous days that I could possibly vomit during or after the workout and yesterday was one of them. I am also convinced that our instructors are making each month harder than the last. Mind you, I'm not complaining because without these wonderful ladies, I wouldn't have lost as much weight or even had the support to push myself physically. I willingly sign up for this class each month and I truly enjoy wiping off the sweat and burning all the calories. The issues with the class?
1. I don't think El Jefe enjoys me coming back to the office so stinky. Thank goodness for body spray!
2. I now hate the song "Imma Be" because of the death squats we do during the entire song.
3. BURPIES! If you don't know what these are, you're very lucky and please don't ask because I hate, hate, hate them. Yet we basically do them every class...humm? Oh, there are various types of burpies and yes, I hate all of them!
4. I also am not a fan of frog jumps and inch worms. It's embarrassing to see my body attempt these "exercises."
That's all! I'm sure there are days that I hate suicides or chariots but I'd rather do those then burpies. My goal this month is to shave three minutes off my testing time. Meaning, I have got to PUSH IT! I'm vomiting already.

Resolution

I often think that New Years Resolutions are pointless. Every year people vow to lose weight, spend more time with family, go on a vacation, etc. I assume by the end of January, most people have forgot what they were hoping to accomplish by the end of the year. Personally, I have never really enjoyed making a resolution because I know it won't happen. I have posted my winter goals and I can consider that a small resolution list but nothing that I need to feel forced to complete. As I get older, I have come to realize that I have some major life changes ahead of me. Marriage, children, a home, more bills to pay and a new car. Considering these things, I will need a vast amount of money to cover the costs. Due to my "wise" choice to get a degree in HORSES, I am now regretting my 5+ years of college due to the MASSIVE amounts of student loans I'm paying off. It's like having a mortgage payment every month and only a 5x7 piece of paper showing I finished college. What's the point of this entire rant session about bills? It's my 2011 resolution...LIVE ON RICE AND BEANS AND BEANS AND RICE! What does this mean? I am re-kindling my relationship with Dave Ramsey. It's a frequent conversation with my sister asking if Dave and I are still dating and I always reply with the fact that Dave and I are fighting. Dave Ramsey is the author of "The Total Money Makeover" a great book about revising your spending habits to maximize the money you make in order to pay off your debt faster thus allowing yourself the opportunity to become debt free sooner than you expected. I have a lot of debt and there is no way I can get it paid off in a year or even two, but it doesn't mean that I can't make better choices on where my money is going. I am going to forfeit trips in order to save money along with following my budget. I have always been bad with money and I predict there will be some issues but I really am going to try this time! Really! I want to be prepared to go into a marriage with as little debt as possible (not that it'll be too little, I can't push away the debt that fast.) I want to make sure that I have my own finances under control before I merge them with my spouse. I may not be able to get those shoes I want or it just might take me 3 months to save for them but in the end, that's more money I'm applying to my debt. I encourage you all to check out Dave's website and get some great tips on how to successfully become debt free. Also, good luck with your resolutions!
Happy 2011!!